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Flavored condoms: Ice Cream, Green Tea and … Ordinary?

While Bliss paid our bills recently during a trip to a typically unfriendly neighborhood KEDI market — many bills get paid at 24-hour shops here in Shanghai — I perused the condom display rack, always good for a laugh. Always, indeed. Flavored condoms. Ice Cream. Green Tea. And, my personal favorite, Ordinary.

I find the concept of flavored condoms humorous to begin with, but I’ve also never had to taste a condom. So I guess they serve their purpose. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, right? (Or, in this case, it actually prevents it from going down.) Ice cream? OK, I guess I can undertand this one. But there are many flavors of ice cream out there. Let’s hope it’s not Mississippi Mud Pie or Moose Tracks or Brownie Batter or anything that ends in “nut crunch.” Something like Karamel Sutra seems appropriate. But, hell, it’s probably Green Tea Ice Cream.

Which brings us to our next condom flavor … Green Tea. You know that awful bitter aftertaste that green tea leaves in your mouth sometimes? I can’t imagine spunk tastes much worse than that. But this is China, so we have condoms flavored to taste like Green Tea. Now, the Sex Herald tells us that “the right cup of tea will turn us on.” But I would imagine that if a Green Tea Condom is already inserted in your mouth, getting turned on is not really the issue. Finally, we have the Ordinary flavored condom, which I think is the wild card here. Ordinary what? An ordinary condom? Latex flavor? If so, does that really count as a flavored condom? Or perhaps Ordinary means what we all really hope it means. Maybe the Ordinary Condom is flavored to taste like a penis.

03.24.2005, 4:35 PM · Humor, Observations


  1. The Green Tea flavored condoms are my favorite cheap souvenir from Hong Kong for friends in the States. They’re only $20HK a pack (about $2.50), and can be purchased at any Hong Kong Park N Shop (one of the Western style grocery chains in HK).

    I don’t think it would be unusual for something made for the HK market to have something Japanesey on it. Hong Kong is Japanese crazy - all the best stuff (sweet shops, department stores, HK$10 stores) is made in Japan, made for Japan, or styled after something Japanese.

  2. I have finally made it. I have been linked to by thesexblog.com. (WARNING: Site not suitable for all audiences.)

  3. Dan you are such a tightwad! Just buy the rubbers and photograph them in the privacy of your own home…

  4. Dan has a warped sense of humor for sure, I am laughing my ass off here.

  5. i want sex