dismemberment plan
When a white guy on crutches hobbles through the elevator door, the attendant automatically pushes the button for floor No. 15. Because that’s where all the white people go at Huashan Hospital in Shanghai. They speak English up there. Well, kind of.
I was on crutches for the second time in a month. The first stint was due to a badly sprained ankle from basketball. The second stint came because I never gave the original injury proper time to heal.
Huashan Hospital is different from American hospitals — they rarely keep you waiting. A 3 p.m. appointment means you’ll see a doctor at 3 p.m.
It’s also cheap. I got my doctor’s consultation (he had to use a Chinese-English dictionary to tell me I had Achilles tendinitis), two X-rays, two medications AND my final two Hepatitis vaccinations all for less than US$100. Not having medical insurance has actually turned into a money-saver.
There are no hidden costs at Huashan Hospital. In fact, a poster-size menu of various medical procedures and their respective costs hangs on the wall at the reception desk. Look closely and, among the prices for X-rays and MRIs, you’ll find the following: “Replantation of severed finger.”
How much will that operation set you back? Well, that depends on how you want your finger to look when it’s sewed back on. If your job involves a lot of pointing, I’d opt for “first-class” surgery, which carries a RMB 16,400 pricetag. For minor fingers like the pinkie, “second-class” surgery is a bargain at RMB 12,300. Finally, there is the bare-bones “standard” surgery, at RMB 11,500 it’s for patients who feel like giving themselves the finger.
Sorry, no fiver-finger discounts are available.
02.23.2003, 12:02 PM · Observations
